No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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