Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize