Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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