Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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