Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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