I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
