Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
