...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
