I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What a dumb baby whore.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
