Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
