i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
