? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
