I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
