We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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