I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
COCAINE IS GR8
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
there is glitter all over my balls
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