just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
