Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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