so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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