He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize