JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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