I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
