I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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