I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
