I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
