I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
