We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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