gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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