At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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