Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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