so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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