There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
