I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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