I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
