im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
