he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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