went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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