Buhtt sex?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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