I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I wear drunk well.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
