He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
