I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
