Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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