I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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