some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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