you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
