did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
