somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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