do herpes really smell.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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