that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
