Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
