I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
