I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
