some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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