Whats the glycemic index on semen?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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