i may or may not be watching the land before time
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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