Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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