I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
