The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
